Journal

New Sponsor: VALIS 2000 System

9/1/99 Capital numbers
9/3/99 New sponsor
9/7/99 The Name Game
9/28/99 Political rant
10/4/99 Grocery Cards
10/19/99 Sizes
12/31/99 Holiday Greeting

I've developed the VALIS 2000 System (patent pending). Ron Popeil himself is itching to get his hands on it, but I'll make it available to you guys for a mere $19.95.

Yes, that's right. I said $19.95. Don't be confused by imitations sold elsewhere for over a hundred bucks; insist on The VALIS 2000 System (Patent Pending).

What do you get for your small one-time investment? Well, you get a handsome 3X5 Opaque Device (Tm) made of only the finest wood pulp cut from virgin forests in the Northwest. Each Opaque Device(tm) in The VALIS 2000 System (patent pending)is guaranteed to block 100% of all photon-emitting cathode ray tube bursts that are intended to display
the unwanted Network Bug Logo.

But wait, there's more...

Also included is a month's supply of VALIS 2000 System (patent pending) special CRT-specific Screen Adhesive(c). With this Wondrous (and Included at No Extra Charge) addition, attaching the VALIS 2000 System (patent pending) Opaque Device(tm)to your television screen is simple and painless.

But that's *still* not all!!!

Each VALIS 2000 System (patent pending) also comes with a handy TeeVee Template(r) that makes finding the proper place to affix the Opaque Device(tm) using the included Screen Adhesive(c) in the proper place on your television screen. A different TeeVee Template(r) is included for each of the six major television networks, totally eliminating the guesswork.

With proper use of the VALIS 2000 System (patent pending), the Opaque Device(tm), firmly affixed using the Screen Adhesive (c), will totally block out those pesky network bugs.

Satisfaction guaranteed. Comes complete in a genuine leatherette storage case suitable for framing.