Journal Archives
9/7/99 What's In A Name?
"A rose by any other name still has sharp, pointy, thorns that can prick your fingers."At least that's what I *think* the quote is... <pondering>. Oh well, you get the point....
It may come as a shock to many of you, but "Hank" is not my real name. No, it's not the name I was born with, yet I use it on various newsgroups. Shocking, isn't it? It's not even my middle name, but rather a nickname thereof. (That's a toughie, isn't it... just what *could* my middle name be? I'm sure you're at a loss...).
I am actually "something, something, something" the fourth, as in IV. To save the confusion that would inevitably ensue, ("Something!!!! Pick up your socks!!!"), each of us Roman numerals received a nickname. Mine is the only one that actually was based on a part of my name, my dad and grandfather receiving totally arbitrary nicknames such as "Bob" and "Tad." The fact is, I never even knew that "Hank" wasn't my name until Kindergarten, when after the teacher rearranged our desks I couldn't find mine.
"But your name is written on your desk!!!", I was told by my not-so-user-friendly teacher. Frantically, I searched for "Hank" but to no avail. Finally I was told to search for "Something", and voila, I learned the Awful Truth. Such are notions of personal identity shattered when one is a youth... ;-P
I always yearned for a "neutral" name, such as "Mike" or "David" or "Steve." Suffice it to say that "Something" isn't what I'd call "neutral"; rather it congers up images for some reason. Not that "Hank" is any better.... for some reason, this seems to remind many of some hayseed. Names are important when you're a child, and this becomes evident when prospective parents go through the "what should we name our child?" game:
"How about 'Carly'?"
"No, I knew a Carly when I was in third grade and she was a creep."
"Okay, then how about "Barbara?"
"No... makes me think about Barbara Walters. Who needs that."
Etc, etc.... Perhaps Frank Zappa had the right idea, after all.
