August 2, 1997: That Thing You Do
|
THOSE WHO MAY CARE August 2, 1997: That Thing You Do |
|
**************************************************************************
* Ten Surefire Ways to Make Friends & Influence People *
**************************************************************************
+ In the memo field of all your checks write "thanks for last night."
+ If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while
talking to others.
+ Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
+ Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to
your boss.
+ Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
+ Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
+ Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
+ As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
+ Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce, "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
+ While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Source: [unknown] via Ginny Sun
**************************************************************************
* In the words of the immortal Mojo Nixon .. "Where the Hell's My Money" *
**************************************************************************
Last July, Pepsi Cola was sued by a Lynnwood, Mass., man who took seriously
the company's light-hearted offer to redeem 7 million premium points for a
Harrier Jet Fighter in a "Pepsi Stuff" promotion.
Last August, a federal appeals court in St. Louis forced Nationwide
Insurance Co. to award a slogan-contest-winning ex-employee "his-and-hers"
Mercedes Benzes despite the company's claim that it was "just kidding."
Also last July, David Lee filed a lawsuit against the Cafe Santa Fe in
Rogers, Ark., after it denied him a Kawasaki Jet Ski because he failed to
write a reason why he liked a certain menu item on his prize-winning entry
form. Lee contends that the required "25 words or less" includes "zero
words."
Source: News of the Weird
**************************************************************************
* Slackers need not apply *
**************************************************************************
From a careers ad for an art editor at Neon magazine in London, England:
"You'll need to know how to make a magazine look accessible without making
it look like you found it on an airplane and how to make it look cool
without making it look like an explosion in an explosion factory. The
successful applicant will have to be almost comically adaptable, as
comfortable creating a layout in the style of a telephone book as they are
working on the cover of a porn issue ... Above all, you will need to get on
well with a group of people widely disliked by others who work in their
building."
Source: Vancouver Sun
**************************************************************************
* MOO THINKS: ' |\___ ---___/| THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
* ' \--/0 0 --/ *
* "This is why we do what ' / \===================____ *
* we do and they do what ' | oo ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\ *
* they do." ' \_/\_/\ \\ \\_ *
* ' '' | | ~~~\\ *
* --Euler V. Uy, after ' \ _______ _ | {} *
* receiving an envelope ' || || \ /|| || *
* addressed to him @ .. ' || || ||| || || *
* "Price Space Waterhouse" ' || || ''' || || *
* ' [] [] [] [] APOULOS *
**************************************************************************
***************************************************************************
* Note: THIS IS BEST READ USING A COURIER FONT OF 10 PT. As a courtesy, *
* any forwarded piece of this mailing should, at a minimum, include the *
* appropriate section header and the entire "Moo" section at the bottom. *
* TWMC info can be found on the Web @ "http://pw2.netcom.com/~axleplus" *
***************************************************************************