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THOSE WHO MAY CARE March 5, 1988: Live from New York |
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* Women behaving badly [Alternate comment: this guy must be a wuss] *
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A medical supply company in Houston settled a lawsuit filed by a former
employee who said three female co-workers had pulled his pants down to his
ankles. According to court documents, the man had told the women that he
didn't always wear underpants. He said the women later tugged down his
pants and dragged him across the floor. They then nicknamed him Pee Wee.
and Shorty. In his suit, the man charged the firm of not providing
adequate supervision and invading his privacy by letting word of the
incident leak.
Source: PBOY
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* Ever wonder why you still can't just speak to your computer yet? *
* Below, is a short list of different U.S. regional pronunciations and *
* definitions that linguists and programmers have to contend with. *
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Atlanta Tick a Rat Make a right turn
Bangor, ME Hee Ya Here
Bangor, ME Raw Bit The Poet Frost's first name
Boston Carpet Softwah Corporate software
Boston Shots Short Pants
Dallas Ah Stay Iced Tea
Honolulu Stinkeye A dirty look
Houston Marka The United States of...
Houston Awful Tar Famous structure in Paris
Jacksonville Aint Relative wed to your Uncle
New Jersey Snot Yers Smine It isn't yours, it's mine
Little Rock Stars Use to get to the second floor
Kentucky Dubby Day Day of the Kentucky Derby
Memphis Miffus Name of city
Milwaukee Ya, hey? Ending of sentence - "You understand?"
Milwaukee Aina, hey? See above
New Orleans Poach The platform in front of the house
New York City Washda Closendaws Warning from a subway conductor
New York City Huh Opposite of him
New York City Gnome Sane? Know what I am saying
Oklahoma City Lack Trick Cum Knee Electric Company
Philadelphia Sum Eye Giss Something like this
Pittsburgh Liar Lawyer
Pittsburgh Keller Color
Raleigh, NC Rat Chair Right there
Richmond, VA Spacial Special
Salt Lake City Ustacould Was once able to
San Francisco Breeder A heterosexual
Washington, DC Amma Lambs An emergency vehicle
Source: New York Times
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* "There is no vision here." -- The Damned *
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Kalamazoo, MI, heart surgeon Charles Butler, won a $3.96 million jury
verdict in October in his lawsuit against Wal-Mart for injuries he
suffered in a store parking lot. Butler tripped over a trailer hitch
while walking to his car, hurting his spine so badly that he now suffers
from trembling hands, ending his career. Wal-Mart pointed out
unsuccessfully that the trailer itself was 18 feet long and 6 feet high
and contained a large commercial barbecue grill and that a person so
unobservant as to not notice that must surely be facing a waning career as
a surgeon.
Source: News of the Weird
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* MOO THINKS: ' |\___ ---___/| THOSE WHO MAY CARE *
* ' \--/0 0 --/ *
* "Bears are smart, and ' / \===================____ *
* some are very smart. Our ' | oo ) '''''''''''''''''''\\-- \\ *
* problems at the park ' \_/\_/\ \\ \\_ *
* start when the smarter ' '' | | ~~~\\ *
* bears and dumber humans ' \ _______ _ | {} *
* intersect." ' || || \ /|| || *
* --Steve Thompson ' || || ||| || || *
* Yosemite Biologist ' || || ''' || || *
* ' [] [] [] [] APOULOS *
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