May 07, 1999: A Binge to Forget
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THOSE WHO MAY CARE May 07, 1999: A Binge to Forget |
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* Anyone remember the old joke that ends "Rectum? I nearly killed him."? *
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Honduras - A Honduran fisherman woke up after a drunken binge to find
someone had pushed a 4.4-inch bottle far up his rectum. Doctors later
removed the bottle from his intestine more than two weeks after it was
introduced. "The foreign matter was stuck in his large intestine. We can't
figure out why it rose that high instead of descending," surgeon Reiniery
Jimenez told reporters.
Jose Lopez, 43, said he slept in field near his home on April 18 after
drinking a quart of aguardiente, a fiery local spirit. He said he had no
idea what had happened, "When I woke up the next day I felt something
strange which gave me some pain and prevented me from defecating. It was
like being pregnant because I felt it moving up or down when I walked or
changed my position."
Lopez said he had since given up drink.
Source: Reuters
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* This is "Cool." :-) *
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Ticonderoga, New York - An education publisher recalled pencils bearing an
anti-drug slogan after a fourth grader noticed they carried a "hidden"
message. The pencils had been imprinted with the slogan "Too Cool to Do
Drugs." The ten-year old alerted the company that when sharpened, the
pencils read "Cool to Do Drugs," and then "Do Drugs."
Source: Playboy News
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* Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to get out of bed (or into it?) *
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Spain - A Madrid gas station attendant paid a high price of falling asleep
on the job. Customers, noticing he had nodded off, filled up their cars
and then, called their friends to do the same. The fueling frenzy ended
$1,000 later when police grew suspicious after seeing a long line of cars
in front of the station.
Adding insult to injury, the employee was arrested because he was wanted
by police on another matter.
Source: Reuters
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* No comment necessary (or dare I risk a stupid one). *
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New York - The United Nations recently unveiled a sculpture of a sleeping
bull elephant with an full erection. The artist had sedated a wild Kenyan
elephant to cast the sculpture, and the tranquilizers apparently caused the
hard-on. Officials briefly considered lopping off the appendage, because
it might "scare children," (?-ed) but a compromise was reached. Shrubs
were strategically placed to hide the elephant's state.
Source: Playboy News
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