Disclaimer: Paramount Pictures owns Star Trek, Tom Paris, Kathryn Janeway, Harry Kim, Chakotay, Tuvok, Kes, Telek R'Mor and B'Elanna Torres. No copyright infringement is intended. The story however is mine.

Author's notes: Although I've been watching Voyager off and on since its debut, I've only become immersed in it within the past month and a half. Recently I rewatched the first half dozen or so episodes from Season One, and found myself intrigued by the premise of Eye of the Needle. I began wondering what kind of messages the crew would have sent via the Romulan commander R'Mor. If anyone else has used this idea, I'm not aware of it. Any errors in continuity or canon are mine.

Feedback is appreciated -- I consider this a work in progress. Send roses or brickbats to redshoes@ix.netcom.com.

Thanks to all for the encouragement on the first two parts. This one was harder, because I don't feel as comfortable with Tuvok's character as with Tom and B'Elanna, but I was pleased with what I ultimately came up with. Let me know if you agree.

Dedicated to Perri, who gave me my first introduction to Voyager fanfic and for lighting the Parisian spark, and to Melody, Mary, Tiz, Pam and Cathie for fanning the flames. Kung Pao, baby!

I'd also like to acknowledge the inspiration gained from Macedon & Peg's "Talking Stick/Circle" series (and thanks again to Perri for telling me about it in the first place!).

Letters from the Delta Quadrant Part 3

by Katherine Fritz
(redshoes@ix.netcom.com)

Honored Wife,

Peace and long life to you, and also greetings to you and to our children.

If you are reading this letter, then you know that Captain Janeway found me. I am alive and well. It is unfortunate, however, that where she found me was in the Delta Quadrant, over 70,000 light-years from home. If we do not find another, faster way home, it will be approximately 76 years before I see you and the children again.

But I believe it will not be that long. I hope not. I wish to gaze upon your face again, dear wife, and share what is so precious between us, my mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. It is not logical that this is what I wish for most, but it is true.

I know that Captain Janeway came to see you before departing on the mission to the Badlands that brought us all to the Delta Quadrant. She tried to explain to me that you were worried, but I feel certain that that is not precisely the case. Through all the years that she has known us, she still continues to color her perception of Vulcan ways with human emotion. It is not a failing of hers, precisely, anymore than it is with other humans who do the same, but it is consistent, and I realize that I have come to find some comfort in this habit of hers.

It is good to have Kathryn Janeway as a friend, and I have called her so. It is many years since we first met, when she was a child, and I am pleased that she has grown to become the fine, principled officer that she is today. Though her first interest in Starfleet was science, she is an example of the best that Starfleet can produce in its commanders: steadfast, loyal, and yet with that spark of extra passion that marks the truly gifted among leaders. It is a spark that seems to exist most strongly among the humans. I confess that, though I believe deeply in the teachings of Surak, I fear that those teachings do not produce the kinds of leaders that Starfleet needs. As Vulcans, I believe, we serve best in the Federation as counselors, analysts and guides, but not as leaders.

For example, in our initial encounter with a hostile race called the Kazon, Captain Janeway managed to gain the confidence of the Maquis captain, Chakotay, and convinced him of the wisdom of merging the two crews to solve our common problem. I found her solution admirable, and I admit that it was not one that I would have recommended. Her human instincts -- what she calls a "gut reaction" -- served her well in this instance, where, to me, logic would have indicated failure would have been most likely.

This is not to say that the path has run smoothly or true. Mr. Chakotay's strengths as an officer and a leader are not the same as Captain Janeway's. Indeed, while there are similarities in their command styles, the means by which they achieve their ends are often strikingly different. In many ways, they are opposites. She is often analytical and logical as any Vulcan -- which she would ascribe to her training in the math and science disciplines -- while he can be maddeningly instinctual and even spiritual, a natural consequence of his Native American heritage, no doubt. He urges her to leap when she would hang back, and vice versa.

Having almost literally being thrown together as captain and first officer, they have been working diligently to temper their relationship as one tempers steel. Theirs is a fascinating dynamic. It is a model that I study with care, both because of my own position in the command structure, and because I sometimes find it difficult to understand how they are able to make their partnership work. Starfleet tends to choose its command teams based on rigorous testing and study of personalities and records. Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay have not had the benefit of this, and so the dichotomies between them arise daily. And yet they have so far been able to rise above their disagreements to present a united front to the rest of the crew.

In the months since we arrived here, meantime, the integration of the two crews has been...interesting. I find it is most curious that while it has been smooth enough stepping back into my role as Chief of Security on Voyager, my relationship with most of the Maquis has been...strained.

I have always tried to live according to the moral principles of our people, with the code of Surak as my guide. When I first went undercover with the Maquis, I told myself that the deception necessary to carry it off was consistent with my having sworn to uphold the regulations of Starfleet. At the time, the greater good appeared to be the prevailing wisdom, and overshadowed any concern I might have had in the knowledge that I would be deceiving the Maquis crew.

I was able to integrate myself into that crew with some alacrity, and then-Captain Chakotay quickly came to rely on me for my counsel. Outside of my mission to Starfleet, I served the Maquis to the best of my abilities both as a Vulcan and (as the Maquis believed) a former Starfleet officer. I was able to gather a great deal of information about the Maquis during my weeks with them, which enabled Starfleet to build a considerable dossier on Chakotay and his crew.

I also began to develop a growing sense of discomfort about my mission. By the time I was to be extracted from the situation, I had reached a point whereby I would have been unable to continue for very much longer. Simply put, I had come to understand the motivations of Chakotay and many of his crew in their fight against the Cardassians to the point that I found it increasingly difficult to think of them as criminals against the Federation. Yet it was true that they were violating the Federation treaty with Cardassia, as well as carrying out a de facto border war that was each day more disruptive to the uneasy Federation-Cardassian non-aggression pact.

I did not have the luxury of dealing with that issue on my own terms however, for it was at this time when we ran afoul of Gul Evek, attempted escape through the plasma storms of the Badlands...and were pulled by the Caretaker 70,000 light years away to the Delta Quadrant, where we are now. When my true identity was revealed to Chakotay and the rest of the Maquis, he did not demand satisfaction of me for my actions, but did damn me for a liar. What I told him explained the circumstances under which I had been able to morally justify my mission, but it is a logic with which I have since increasingly found fault.

The ethics of my dilemma continue to elude me. Chakotay and I had worked together closely while in the Maquis; today we have a relationship that is professional, polite and quite distant. In human terms, he has not yet forgiven me my trespasses. Yet he does appear to have forgiven Lieutenant Paris for his transgressions against the Maquis, both in failing in his first Maquis assignment and then for his part in tracking us down after we disappeared in the Badlands.

Mr. Paris had also once served under Chakotay in the Maquis, and initially at least, Chakotay held nothing but anger and contempt for him. Somehow that anger and contempt became muted after Paris saved Chakotay's life on the Ocampa homeworld. Now that Captain Janeway has made Chakotay her First Officer and Paris the Ship's Pilot and Chief Conn Officer, they appear to have forged a new relationship that is as professional and polite as mine and Chakotay's...and yet, the awkwardness and discomfort that colors our dealings is not present in theirs. I do not understand this, despite much study and analysis of the differences between the two situations.

My relationship with Commander Chakotay is emblematic of what I have with the rest of the Maquis crew. They are, for the most part, suspicious at best, hostile at worst. I must constantly remind myself that they have not had the benefit of Starfleet discipline and training, and should not be held to the same standards. Commander Chakotay and Lieutenant Torres, our Chief Engineer, are exceptions among the Maquis, in that Chakotay is a Starfleet graduate, and Lt. Torres studied at the academy for two years. The rest are a motley group of impassioned colonists, political refugees and disaffected mercenaries.

I am learning new ways of effecting discipline and change. It has been a...creative exercise, and not one that I relish. And yet it is necessary. The methods that work among Fleet personnel are frequently ineffective among the Maquis. They are not the kind of people I have dealt with in the past. There are only 38 of them among this crew of 141, and many of them are serving, of necessity, in positions of great responsibility and must be invested with great trust. It is a daily struggle sometimes to get things done.

I have not yet spoken to Captain Janeway about my concerns, but know that I must. Inasmuch as she relies on me and values my friendship and counsel, it is important that I discuss with her my misgivings, both past and present. Yet I find myself reluctant to do so. I fear that it will only worry her, and she does not need additional worry. And so I have endeavored to find another way to resolve these situations, to come to terms with it myself, while providing Captain Janeway with the best efforts and support that I can.

I also have attempted on numerous occasions to discuss my actions with Commander Chakotay. I wish to, as the humans say, "make amends." So far, I have been unsuccessful in my attempts. Chakotay continues to tell me that he understands why I acted as I did, and that he does not take it personally. Yet I believe that he does. I believe that I would -- which is not the way of our people, yet I recognize that I feel this way. I have thought upon this long and hard.

I spend a great deal of my time in meditation, trying to make peace with myself and my actions among the Maquis. I am confident that I will be able to do so, but it has been a protracted and uncomfortable process. Have I misplaced my moral compass? I do not think so, yet I remain troubled. Many aboard this ship do not like me, and I am not concerned that they do -- yet I realize that it will make Captain Janeway's job easier if I can resolve the problem. I do not doubt that I can serve her well as Security Chief regardless of how I am viewed by the crew. But I realize, too, that if I am perceived by the crew to be untrustworthy, than my job -- and Captain Janeway's -- will be more difficult. A wise person once said that perception is reality. I am doing what I can to adjust perception, so that reality will run more smoothly.

T'Pel, I apologize for spending so much time telling of my troubles when time is so short. I must conclude this letter soon, for Telek R'Mor needs to return, and our messages must be ready.

It has been so long since I have seen you, and will be longer still until I see you again. Captain Janeway has made a promise to this crew that she will get us home sooner than the 70-odd years it will take Voyager to traverse the Delta Quadrant back to the Alpha. This is not a logical promise for her to have made, but she has done so, and I am working to do all I can to help her achieve that goal. If there is a way, we will find it.

But yet I know that I must be prepared for our journey to be a long one, and I must make peace with myself and with this crew. I have set myself this task, and I will not shirk from the challenge. If one day, we look upon one another again, you will know that I was successful.

T'Pel, my only one, I look forward to a day when we will again walk among the groves and our minds may touch. I do not know if the Pon Farr will come upon me while we are here and, if so, how it may affect you. Please do all that you can to keep yourself and your health safe. If need be, do what you must. I give leave to release you from our vows, if that be necessary. I hope it is not.

I miss you and I miss our children. Please tell them to learn well the ways of Surak, and that I love them. As I do you.

Live long and prosper, dear wife.

Tuvok

End Part 3

My husband tells me that he doesn't think a Vulcan would ever say "I love you," but I disagree, particularly in this context. What do you think?

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